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Hey,
Our 12 week old doodle Vegas is playing favorites between my wife and I. Basically, any time he is left alone with my wife he looks for me. Our routine in the morning is me and him get up around 6 and I feed him at 6:15 and we play and walk until 7. My wife relieves me so I can get ready for work. In those 20 minutes, he completely frustrates her, by not paying attention and constantly looking and whining for me. He'll run up the stairs to find me (this is fine, but he does not know how to go down stairs yet).

I told her that she should tether him to her when I leave, but she is not warming up to that idea. We have tried having her be the one that feeds him and give his favorite treats. And he is only allowed his bacon nylabone when she is with him.

Any other suggestions? This is really upsetting my wife. I think she needs to be more assertive with him and she acknowledges that this is sonething to work on.
Thanks
 

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This kinda happened when we adopted Ari. (He was 10 months old when we adopted him from his previous owners).

I was the one to wake up early each morning, take him to potty, feed him, walk him, play with him, etc... all while my husband slept. Then my husband complained that Ari seemed more attached to me and not to him.

It was also quite obvious that Ari saw me as the pack leader because I was the one providing the things he needed, while my husband only played with him in the afternoons before he left for work.

What finally made my husband realize the error of his ways was when I told him that Ari looked at me as the "pack leader" or "Number One". Then I explained that Ari saw my husband as "Number Three". I then said... "guess who's number two???" Yep... ARI!

So what we did was broke his feedings into three times a day instead of two, that way my husband could provide food for him as well. I did all the things I normally did in the morning and fed him at 6 a.m. Then my husband would walk him once in the afternoon, play with him, and feed him around noon or so. Then when I would get home from work, I would play with him, walk him and then feed him at 6 p.m.

This way, Ari saw that my husband was providing food and attention for him too. Since then - it is obvious that Ari respects us both equally and we (my husband and I both) are the established pack leaders. Ari looks to both of us for direction now as opposed to just me.

I hope that this helps some! Good luck with Vegas!
 

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Reminds me of my niece. She has phases where she wants to play with (and ONLY with) grandma, mommy, grandpa, daddy, and of course her Uncle. Completely random however.

Relating to dogs, Kari and her hubby seem to have it down pat. Who would you rather hang out with, a friend that buys you dinner and you have a great time with or someone who is convenient to hang out with but not all that fun?

GF and I have had the same process. Dudley loved me at first because I was working with him almost every night with treats. Now the GF is his favorite because he knows I won't put up with his selective hearing and she will.

How long have you been witholding treats and things and only having your wife give them? It might take a few days for Vegas to adjust his perceptions.
 

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Withholding treats was a tough one. He is in a critical training stage, so i feel I can't slack off on that. He is affection motivated, so I have gone a few days with only giving him affection while training. He was not as attentive as when I would have treats. My wife fed him this morning and will feed him at night. She also works with him at training (she's the one who actually perfected "roll over" with him). I am the one who does the unpleasant things, such as clipping nails, cleaning ears, brushing, giving medicine...etc. If it wasn't for the nylabone, my wife probably would have him sent back.

I really think she should tether him. Would this be a good strategy?
 

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We got Boart at 9 weeks and he went through this too. It does get better with time for sure.
Your wife seems to be participating in his growing process and so are you! I think it's a stage. My SIL tethered her poodle to herself when Samson was a pup. It did work for her.
Now Bogart follows ME everywhere as I do all the walks and training. He's now 8 months old and has got through the stage you're at probably by the 3 months old.
Hang in there...it'll work!
 

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TNVOL said:
Withholding treats was a tough one. He is in a critical training stage, so i feel I can't slack off on that. He is affection motivated, so I have gone a few days with only giving him affection while training. He was not as attentive as when I would have treats. My wife fed him this morning and will feed him at night. She also works with him at training (she's the one who actually perfected "roll over" with him). I am the one who does the unpleasant things, such as clipping nails, cleaning ears, brushing, giving medicine...etc. If it wasn't for the nylabone, my wife probably would have him sent back.

I really think she should tether him. Would this be a good strategy?
TETHERING IS GOOD :D Suggesting your wife take the pup to basic Obedience training is even better! My wife (no experience with training at all) and Abby have strengthened the bond between them at school. Worked for me :wink:
 

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Sampson is VERY attatched to me.
He has been ever since we rescued him.
It is so bad sometimes that he will hold his buisness until I wake up at around 10-12 (I am a teenager after all :D ) and I let him out.
He follows me around the house, even getting upwhen I cross the room for fear that I will go somehwere without him.

And he refuses to go near my Dad, but that comes from experiences in his abusive former home.
Buuuttt... Now that the sumer is here and my parents (teachers) have time off and everything is slightly less hectic we are going to start obedience classes! :)
 

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Discussion Starter #8
This morning went much better. Thanks for all the feedback.

The magic solution was two words.......BULLY STICK.

He didn't even know I was gone.
 

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My DH noticed that Remy was far more interested in me. I didn't see it until we both came home at the same time and went into the house together. He went over to let Remy out of his crate and Remy came bolting over to me with that full body wag.

I have spent more time with Remy, but my DH usually comes home at lunch to feed and play and he is playing more with him at night and on the weekends.

We started puppy kindergarten last Tuesday and I'm having him "be the trainer". I can already see DH taking a more active role after just the first class.
 

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Doods do have favourites. I do 90% of the dog related stuff at our house and they are my little love bugs. They go bonkers when i leave. I am hoping they bond more with my wife when she starts her maternity leave in a week and a half. the added time together should do the trick. they love her, but barely look up when she leaves in the morning.
 

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Max our LD has always shadowed me 24/7 from day one even
but i just noticed w/in past month or so Max is now bonding closely with Dave and for 1st time Max waited at bottom of stairs till DAVE and I were both at the top till he came up for bedtime :D
Max is turning 2yrs old :shock: but given time it does happen, Max is beginning to learn more respect for DAVE as i am having dave do some minor training now

Dave is usally the teaser/player/and a great dog walker
I do 95% of training, all feeding and more.......but with Dave not taking part in shared duties , well I think DAVE's status just moved up a notch
 

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Because Tanner has been with JUST Tim and I 99.9% of the time, I think he tries hard not to play favorites. When we play fetch with him he will often trade off bringing it back to one then another.

When we walk him together, it is like pulling teeth to get him to walk on my left side. He wants to walk right in the middle. It is so cute how when the three of us are walking he looks up at Tim and then at me as if to say, "isn't life great" :wink: I just love it :p
 

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I am there with you. We just got Beau ((Our Red GD)) just a few weeks ago. And he follows me everywhere. And last night was the first time I was gone with out taking my kids or DH with me. I went and had some me time for more then two hours. I have been gone to the store with out kids and dh and Beau has been fine. But I think the four and a half hours i was gone was hard on him. He was pacing and whining. My husband had to call me and ask if Beau was ok. And I have never seen him do this. So I wasn't sure if Beau had a stomach or something. But then I thought about it, and it was because I wasn't home. I am the one who does 98% of the stuff for our dogs, kids and house. So I know that had to have been it. And when I got home Beau was VERY happy to see me. I had to drop everything I had in my hands to play and pet him and Cacao. It was nice to have a GREAT welcome home. I wish I could help but I am in the same boat. I know it will get better. Cacao was that way for a long time but one day she just got it that I wouldn't leave with out saying bye. I would say distract and you should be good. And keep a routine and if that is you get up him then keep it that way. They are just like kids. Routine is key. :)
 

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When we first got Daisy, my kids and I drove to my hometown to pick her up, and then we spent that first night with my parents. My husband had to stay home and work. So the first night, I was in a room by myself and put Daisy's bed on the floor beside me, and by the next morning, I could tell that she was starting to bond more tightly to me than to the kids. Even after we got home, I kept her by my beside for the first week or so after we got her, and then I moved her to the kitchen at night with our other dog - because I wanted them to bond, too. I think this is called "denning" - sleeping together to promote bonding - and it sure seemed to work with Daisy and me. I've never had a dog more attached to me than this one is. She's my shadow every minute of the day.

Anyway, that might be something your wife could try, if you aren't doing it already. Even if the dog is in a crate, you could put the crate at your wife's beside at night, or they could sleep together in another room for a few nights and see if that helps with the bonding.

Good luck :)

S.
 
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