For those who may have missed this one over the years: :D\n\nDOG HAIKU\n\nLove my master;\nThus I perfume myself with\nThis long-rotten mouse.\n\nI lie belly-up\nIn the sunshine, happier than\nYou ever will be\n\nToday I sniffed\nMany dog behinds-I celebrate\nBy kissing your face.\n\nI sound the alarm!\nPaper boy-come to kill us all-\nLook! Look! Look! Look! Look!\n\nI lift my leg and\nWhiz on each bush.\nHello, Spot-Sniff this and weep\n\nI sound the alarm!\nGarbage man-come to kill us all-\nLook! Look! Look! Look! Look!\n\nHow do I love thee?\nThe ways are numberless as\nMy hairs on the rug.\n\nI sound the alarm!\nMail carrier-come to kill us all-\nLook! Look! Look! Look! Look!\n\nMy human is home!\nI am so ecstatic I have\nMade a puddle\n\nI sound the alarm!\nGardener-come to kill us all-\nLook! Look! Look! Look! Look!\n\nI Hate my choke chain-\nLook, world, they strangle me!\nAck Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!\n\nSleeping here, my chin\nOn your foot-no greater bliss-well,\nMaybe catching mice\n\nLook in my eyes and\nDeny it. No human could\nLove you as much I do\n\nThe cat is not all\nBad-she dots the neighborhood\nWith Tootsie Rolls\n\nDig under fence-why?\nBecause it's there. Because it's\nThere. Because it's there.\n\nI am your best friend,\nNow, always, and especially\nWhen you are eating.\n\nMy Master's mood is\nRomantic-I lie near their\nFeet. I fart a big one.